Things about stuff

AJ savors an Oberon at the Monon Food Company that recently opened in Broad Ripple.

What’s wrong with being drunk? Ask a glass of beer.

A bad brew will go on and on about how it’s unfortunate, unsavory and uninspired. A good brew will pull up a chair for you, probably while regaling you with tales of one of the times AJ Mast stopped by and helped one of its fellow beers live up to its life’s glorious potential.

I’ve had the opportunity to witness the emptying of many a pint at AJ’s hand. It’s becoming a habit to catch him in the act — mostly on camera phones and often in bad lighting. Despite the challenges, here is a gallery of about five years of pints from as far away as Brussels and Rome.

AJ recently sat down for a chat about his favorite beverage and where to go for the tastiest brews and best values for the hop.

It’s well established that you’re a fan of beer. Why is that?
AJ: “Because it’s delicious. … Now just don’t ask me why beer is like a woman.”

When is beer the best?
AJ: “When it’s in my belly.”

What’s your favorite beer?
AJ: “Spotted Cow.”

What’s the maximum caseload of Spotted Cow a 2008 Nissan Altima can carry?
AJ: “Eighteen. And then you get a flat tire.”

But you don’t actually like Fat Tire, right?
AJ: “I do not like Fat Tire or flat tires.”

What’s your favorite place to drink beer in Indianapolis?
AJ: “My house. It’s the only place you can get Spotted Cow in Indianapolis.”

What’s your favorite food to eat while drinking beer?
AJ: “It’s a tie between chili and Mexican food.”

What’s your record for how many different beers you’ve had in a weekend?
AJ: “I’ll say 21, but I had a lot of beer, so I don’t remember for sure.”

When purchasing beer, where do you prefer to shop in Indianapolis?
AJ: “I would say Kahn’s, but I buy most of my beer in Wisconsin.”

How many miles do you have to run to work off a beer?
AJ: “I believe it’s about 1.5 miles.”

What’s your most impressive ice skating trick?
AJ: “The triple lindy. Which certainly is more challenging when the water is frozen.”

How many beers did it take to pull off that one?
AJ: “Oh, I have know idea.”

What do you think about yards of beer?
AJ: “They’re fine for frat boys, but — and this is going to sound worse than I thought it would — who wants that final warm six inches in their mouth?”

Would you ever try brewing your own?
AJ: “I’m a drinker, not a brewer.”

What’s a good value price for beer when you’re out and about?
AJ: “I think $3 or less a pint is an excellent value. You can get that at Barley Island on Sundays and Mondays, at the Aristocrat on Tuesdays and I’m interested in hearing about other value deals on good beers to fill in the rest of the week.”