Things about stuff

Today at the office, the e-version of He Said, She Said came in the form of shrews and boll weevils …

He said.

She said.

  

7/26/2000
Becca M.: “This is a hell of a banana, wouldn’t you say?”

8/8/2000
Joe: “I might as well have another donut. It’s all going straight to my hips.”

12/8/2000
Robin B. enjoys some room-temperature cheese and sausage: “That just about gave me the Big O.”

2/21/2001
Becca eating her toasted peas: “I almost choked on my pea.”
Beth: “That doesn’t sound too good.”
… Becca still has problems: “Now I got pea on you!”
… Becca again: “I almost need the Heimlich.”
Beth: “We can do that because we’re a full-service design team.”
… Beth to Becca: “You have pea on the brain.”

4/18/2001
Leigh to Tim: “How are those banana-flavored suppositories working out for you?”

4/24/2001
Ramona: “Who popped corn?”
Tim: “I don’t care.”

8/29/2001
Tim: “This is the worst wrap I’ve ever had. It’s more like a fold.”

9/5/2001
Beth: “I’d be upset if I ate a pig’s ear and didn’t get anything out of it.”

12/14/2001
Beth warns Leigh: “You’re going to fall down and put your head in my sandwich.”

12/18/2001
VPBP helps himself then says thanks this way: “Ugh. Is this frou-frou-flavored coffee?”

12/26/2001
At lunch, Tim discusses his impending diet: “I can’t stop cold turkey … even though I just ate hot turkey.”

2/5/2002
Tim: “Dim sum? That’s not even a language. … I’ll have sum-a dim, and dim sum more.”

2/11/2002
Tim after reading about a lady who fed a 9-year-old to a shark and was found with another guy’s head stewing in a crockpot: “If I get killed by a woman who looks like that, kill me. And cook my head in curry powder.”

9/5/2008
Tim drinks a Coke from McNiven’s: “It’s as flat as the Earth before 1492.”

9/8/2008
Tim: “Good recommendation on the chili. It burns going in. And on the way down. And on the way out.”

10/20/2008
Leigh: “I just drank my hair.”

11/10/2008
Joe: “That’s the bottom of the food chain: poop laced with cyanide.”

12/23/2008
Beth: “Melissa’s coming down to visit. Hurry and lick the icing off a donut.”

1/23/2008
Leigh: “Joe’s belting his Twinkies again. … And maybe that’s a metaphor.”

  

8/22/2008

Joe: “Any time a person or a dog shows shame, it makes me happy.”

8/22/2008

Beth: “That can brighten up even the stupidest of days.”

8/22/2008

Tim: “I never expected to use the words strong and the French in the same sentence — unless I was talking about odor.”

9/5/2008

Tim on the word denouement: “I could shave at least three letters off that word.”
Leigh: “Most of the letters are just for show. It’s very French that way.”
Tim: “I could shave a lot off the French, too.”

10/1/2008

Angie comments while editing: “You should never write anything more than a check.”

10/14/2008

Beth: “Out of spite, out of mind.”

11/20/2008

Leigh: “To instant message, I prefer to send a rock with a note attached.”

12/16/2008

Leigh to Joe: “Your ennui is boring me.”

12/26/2008

Beth to Leigh: “You eat louder than you talk.”
Joe: “If we can get her to talk with her mouth full, we may cure her.”

3/5/2009

On Joe’s minority status, Angie: “Well, I’m a race, too.”
Joe: “I know — you’re a girl.”

3/10/2009

Beth says as approaching police sirens wail: “You’ll thank me in 15 to 20.”

4/16/2009

Tim: “Animals are cuter when they’re closer to extinction.”